The 20 things you must do before baby arrives!

So I’ve been looking after a poorly, poopy baby for almost a week now and my god am I exhausted! I have never changed so many nappies in my life! It also made me realise how much little time I’ve had to myself since he has been here. If you are about to have a baby, you are forever hearing the line ‘sleep whilst you can!’ Yes you will be tired but your whole life will change! So I have come up with a list of things you definitely need to do before your baby is here.

  1. Swear as much as you can. I did not realised just how much I swear in every day language until the little man arrived, now guilt sets in when I see him pondering what ‘fucks sake’ or ‘bollocks!’ actually means… So get it out of the way now so its not the first word they learn.
  2. Arrive somewhere on time, better yet, early. Enjoy the smugness as it will never happen again.
  3. Clean your house, then sit and admire it all day as you will never see it that clean again. Also watch how it stays tidy all day too (probably until your other half gets home but that’s another story!).
  4. Cuddle your pets, you will never get the chance to properly do it again for a while, instead you will be saying ‘oh my god, you want feeding now too?!’
  5. Greet your partner at the end of a day with a proper kiss and hug. Then ask him how his day has been. Once baby is here, you will be passing him a screaming baby as you need a break and have been clock watching for the past two hours, waiting for hometime. Nevermind asking him how his day has been, you have had several dramas that you need to rant about first.
  6. Open a chocolate bar and eat it all! Take all day if you want, without the worry of having to share or hide it.
  7. Same goes for meals, enjoy every hot meal you get as you’ll never have another one again.
  8. Also go out for as many meals as you can, as you’ll also never get to enjoy a meal out with a baby that wants you undivided attention or to throw everything that is on your plate, on the floor.
  9. Put a hot brew wherever you want, without the fear of a devil child grabbing it and pouring it all over themselves.
  10. Shower everyday, then stay in there as long as you can.
  11. Same goes for a long, hot bath. Locked the door and soak in the peace and quiet.
  12. Wear all your dangly jewellery and favourite necklace, they’ll be living in a box for the next several years.
  13. Same goes for your hair, wear it down, style it and love it. Once baby is here you’ll master the ‘mum bun’.
  14. Take as many photos of yourself before baby, once they are here you’ll never remember the day you didn’t wake up looking like a zombie out of The Walking Dead.
  15. Go to the toilet and close the door. Enjoy every minute of being alone, without having to explain where you’ve gone, or what you are doing in there! Better yet, enjoy the silence, instead of having to have a conversation through an open door whilst you are in there.. Oh the glamour of being a parent!
  16. Wake up naturally when you have finish sleeping, then stay there, enjoying the fact that you don’t actually need to jump straight out of bed to do 200 things and its not even 7am yet!
  17. Go for a drive, wherever you want, listening to whatever you want. Better yet do it in silence, without having to entertain the whole way to where you are going.
  18. Leave the house for no particular reason, just get your bag and go. Without having to pack a days wardrobe, food and basically everything but the kitchen sink first.
  19. Watch whatever you want, all day. Soak in all the bad TV you can get, CBBs is your friend when baby is here and you will have it on in the background nearly every day.
  20. Spend a day thinking about your favourite things and do them/it. Because after that, your life will never be the same again, but I promise you, it is worth it.

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