Why is it when you become a new parent you suddenly realise you hate people?! Well, hate is a strong word so we will go with strongly dislike instead. Here’s 10 of the most irritating:-
1. The random visitor/door knocker! Why do people think it’s ok to randomly turn up/knock on at your house uninvited once you’ve had kids?! Plus it’s always on the day that you are in your lounging clothes aka the other halves t-shirt or the scruffiest items of clothing that you look a mess in but are too comfy to put in the bin 😂. Or it’s when you’ve finally just got the devil child to have a nap after fighting it most of the day that they knock on and you know if you open the door, boom! The baby is awake, and all hell breaks loose! We have phones for a reason these days people use them!
2. Sick people. You know the ones, ‘ooh I’m full of a cold, but I didn’t think I should cancel.’ You are ill! You bloody well can cancel! Stay at home until you are better rather than spreading your evil germs, please. You see them sneezing and coughing, covering it with their hand, then using said hand to pick your baby up with. Then they want to give you a hug on the way out, lucky you! Looking after a baby is hard enough, looking after a baby while full of a cold is ten times worse 😷.
3. The random family members/friends you haven’t seen or heard from for years and now suddenly keep getting in touch, very uncomfortable/awkward conversations alert!
4. People who are late. You’ve just about managed to get the baby and yourself ready while also putting off having that nap you wanted as you didn’t want to be asleep when they arrived only for them to turn up an hour after they are due round! 😴
5. Whoever invented the Internet! Google has become both my enemy and my best friend since having a baby. Search baby rash, then automatically convince yourself that the baby has meningitis and have a nervous breakdown trying to ring the doctors for an emergency appointment!
6. The mother that knows everything! You know the ones, they ask you how the little one is sleeping/sitting/weaning then automatically feel the need to tell you what their baby does or how they are doing something, therefore, making it crystal clear that they think the way they are doing it is the right way and not yours. WHY DON’T YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
7. The other half. Don’t get me wrong; you love them very much, you also can rahh about them as much as you want but God forbid you hear someone else calling them! If they are not annoying you because they’ve put the bowl/cup/plate on the side in the kitchen when you’ve just finished cleaning, they’re leaving dirty washing around the wash basket, not in it, around it, every bloody time! Same in the baby room used nappy next to the bin, dirty vest on the floor… I am not your mother, pick your crap up!
8. The woman giving you dirty looks when your baby is crying. Plus why is it always a woman?! Surely they should understand why you look close to having a breakdown because your baby is tired but won’t sleep, and you just wanted that decent cup of coffee from the coffee shop that was also warm, and you’ve spent two hours getting everything together as it’s your first time out the house on your own! So yes, my baby is crying, but he can wait till I have my coffee and you can sod off with your dirty looks while I wait in a queue for it. You are only having to hear it for a few minutes, trying listening to it every time he refuses to have a nap love 😂.
9. People who faff. You are in a queue, the person in front can’t decide what they want… Well, get out of the queue then until you know you muppet! Or they choose to use every little bit of change they can find, 1p at a time, while you slowly fall asleep stood upright.
10. The people who said they’d help when the baby arrived. You know the ones, ‘ooo if you need a hand with anything when the little ones here, let me know.’ Nine months later they are sat on your sofa, waiting for the cup of tea you offered when they arrived (muggins I know) admiring your baby while you are walking round in your zombie like state cleaning bottles, clothes and pots thinking wtf?!