So before you became a Mum I bet you had a list of things you would never ever do….. All I can say is burn it! Burn it now! Real life doesn’t alway match up to your ideal motherhood. You will find yourself abandoning your perfect mother expectation and do whatever it takes to get through the day! Most of us would never admit to the parenting shortcuts we use but I bet you’ve all done nearly all of these parenting hacks at least once since the guys came along…..
1. Not paid in a shop… Through no fault of your own either… The adorable toddler was too quiet in the buggy, then you realise five minutes after leaving said shop they’ve stolen a cream off the shelf or grabbed a fluffy bobble whilst you were queuing. This results in you having to stomp back and apologise whilst paying for the item you will never now need.
2. Skipping pages of a bedtime story. You’ve already read 20 books today, you’re not going to start reading a book from beginning to end at 7pm.
3. Sucking a babies dummy when it’s been on the floor. To begin with it was straight in the wash and in the steriliser. Now you forgot the spare and cannot bear the thought of a crying toddler all the way home. Besides, abit of dirt is good for them, ain’t it?!
4. A little bit of Calpol ‘just incase’. They’ve been crying all morning and rosey red cheeks. You’re not sure if it’s teething or they’re just having a paddy but Calpol becomes a parents best friend the moment you feel a temperature coming on.
5. Pretending to be asleep when it’s nap time/bedtime. You must not move…. Whatsoever!
6. Eating partially chewed food. There is no bin, you’ve got no tissue. It’s gross but it’s gone.
7. Resorting to bribery. Have you ever tried to get a toddler dressed?! Or their hair cut??… If a promise of a chocolate bar or going to the park after works, I’m gonna use it.
8. Swearing then wishing you hadn’t when you’re now sure the toddler said ‘aww shit’ when they dropped their juice 🤦🏽♀️.
9. Pretending the noisy toy is broken, or you can’t find it…. You honestly haven’t put it in the bin…..
10. Using baby wipes to clean EVERYTHING! Tables, sofa, your jeans, the toddler. If it’s dirty you wipe it. You should get the disinfectant but sometimes needs must.
11. Ignoring a dirty nappy. You’ve already changed three today and the other half just got home. Convince the toddler to go say hi to Daddy, works everytime.
12. Eating their leftovers. You’ve paid a small fortune for a kids meal they haven’t touched… Too right I’m not wasting it!
Like I say, we can all pretend to be the perfect parent, but reality it a much different story 😘.