Mummy had a lovely play date this week with one of her favourite ‘mum friends’ that she met whilst on maternity and it made her realise just how many different mums you actually meet that year you have off…. Be it at playgroups, parenting classes, in the park, whilst on maternity you’re guaranteed to meet a few of them… Some you’ll love, however, there will also be some you hate!
1. The gym mum. You’ll see her in the park, jogging as she’s pushing her pram, not an ounce of fat on her already or about to head to the gym after nipping to an appointment first. You’ll guarantee you’re there next to her with a coffee in hand slowly pushing the buggy hoping you’re baby is about to finally nap.
2. Perfect baby mum. You love you’re baby unconditionally but her baby is perfect, perfect sleeper, milk drinker, weaning perfectly, they are the perfect combo. You are happy for her obviously.. Nope, we hate her!
3. The queen bee mum. Clearly the one who was popular at school. She knows exactly how playgroup is run, where and when too. She’s also the loudest and bossiest, whilst the other mums won’t answer her back. Avoid her at all cost, you’ll scream at her and the other mums will disown you for losing said temper.
4. The know it all mum! This one I seriously hated! You mention weaning, she’ll tell you how to do it! You’re thinking of a baby carrier, she’ll tell you which one you have to have! You name it, she’ll know it. Even if you don’t ask, she’ll start bloody advising you before you even ask!
5. The bossy mum. You’re on maternity so can do what you want right?… Nope, bossy mum is arranging play dates, telling you when and where, even before you’ve actually said yes! Meet up one week, she’s already telling you what you’re doing the next week! You’re so tired you actually start putting up with this until you realise you’re not at work and avoid said mum for the foreseeable.
6. The laid back mum, also known as the best one you’ll meet. (And keep!) She’s laid back about everything, not eating? Don’t worry, crisps and a butty will do once in a while if they’re happy. Not sleeping? She’ll remind all babies don’t and those who say they do are lying. They’re the one you can moan to about being totally fed up and not worry about being judged.
7. The routine mum (I nearly became this one until I realised what I tit I was thinking newborn babies needed routines for bottles etc, who was I kidding?!) This mum thrives on routine, from bath time to nap time, it never changes, NO MATTER WHAT!
8. The ‘I’m the only one’ mum. She’s shouting from the roof tops everything and anything about her baby, whilst you also sit there with a non sleeping, colic baby too. You love your baby just as much. You spend the next 12 months stopping yourself from writing on one of her over dramatic, daily Facebook statuses ‘OOOOOO JUST SHUT THE FOOK UP!’
9. The competitive mum. AVOID, AVOID, AVOID! Never answer her questions, no matter what her baby has done it already, perfected it and on to the next thing. You will never, ever win.
10. Your friends who are already mums. Yes you already know them, but once you have a baby too, you’ll realise just how bloody fabulous they are and learn another reason why they are your friends .